brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
