look no pants
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
