dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
