What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
