If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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