Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I am midnight drunk by noon
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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