I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
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