Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Houston, we have a squirter
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
