Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
