I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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