ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
