Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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