It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
