NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
