can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
