maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
