the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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