yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
