let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
