First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
