did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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