Apparently you make a good broom.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize