Can i not drive my cunt home
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
