um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
