ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
