:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
