That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
