Pappa wants mamma naked
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize