I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
