Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
