So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
how does that bad decision feel?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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