Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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