The maid of honor just puked.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
