do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
