Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
