No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize