she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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