Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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