Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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