I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
