doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
