Pants 0. Shit 1.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
