we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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