google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize