i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
