How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
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