HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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