"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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