We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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