So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We are two peas in an std pod
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
