so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
