see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
