dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
