I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
