Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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