we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
