why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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