My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
