Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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