Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
