i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
