is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
