just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
