I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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