I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
