Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Terrible idea I love it
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
