I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
