i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize