I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
