how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
