When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
