letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
