The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
