Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
